Good Morning, Mr. Sun

I am out walking
Before the sun
Has his second cup of coffee
When a hush
Is just beginning to break
It is warm
The sun has not
Reached full strength
The echo of the hoot owl
Bounces off the trees
He is telling everybody
Good night, I am going to bed
The robins are up
Getting breakfast for the kids
Industrious humans
Are out working on their lawns
Off in the distance
A slight haze
Hangs around the skyline
It is a beautiful day
I will rejoice
That I am alive
I didn't go out to use
No matter how bad I felt
I took control of my situation
Making me feel safe
No matter the fallout
That my actions may bring
I refuse to live in fear
Of other people
Being kicked out
Of being homeless
I have rights today
Of being able
To feel happy
Or sudden sadness
Or whatever
But I will be stubborn
Because I have a right
To my feelings
You can't make me
Feel a certain way
Like enjoying the outdoors
Even though it is hot
Everyone else
Can say how they feel
Why can't I
So today, I choose
To be happy
Feeling the rays of the sun
Seep into my bones
Spreading joy
Wherever it's fingers may roam
Just for today
I will choose
To feel as happy
As I can
In my present situation
I can think ahead to the days
Where I can go camping
Now, that would be
Real Happiness

Today's song:

Pain

I welcome you, my old friend
You are as ugly
As an old crone
In an storybook
Of Grimm's fairytales
Your feet are swollen
From traversing the Universe
For you are not welcome
Anywhere at all
The door is constantly
Being slammed in your face
You are bent nearly double
From the troubles
You carry on your back
The sinkers that reside in your soul
Are the hardest thing
Of all your troubles
You stink, my friend
Like a thousand year old egg
Water has not sluiced over your body
In forever and a couple of years
Your quest in ongoing
For you want to find
Just one person
In the composition
Of all the human races
That will throw the door wide open
When they see you coming
From afar off
That will fix you
A cup of tea
Break bread with you
Converse with you
About the course of their life
If just one person
Would welcome you
A blessing only you can give
Would you bestow upon them
If just one person
Would listen to what
You have to whisper
In their ear
It would be
An idea
To revolutionize the worlds

Today's song is by Guns-n-Roses:

Refusal

I choose to refuse
To fade gently away
It is you
That stands in fear
Of little 'ol me
I have this knowledge
Trapped between my ears
My mind being
My greatest supporter
The truth lies underneath
In my emotional brain
That is the reason
For me not feeling
All these endless years
Cover those feelings
No matter the cost
With any kind of substance
For if you remember
You might know
What has happened to you
Then there might be
Some acceptance of yourself
Which would take you
Down the path
Of your healing
Have the courage
To stand in the icy cold river of pain
That streches off into the distance
In either direction
Wade into the river
Of your memories
Accept the feel
Of the movement
With the path of the current
Swirling around your body
Understand that it is part
Of the landscape of your mind
In the knowing of that concept
You can come to an understanding
Of the parts of yourself
Treasure each bit
Like a pretty river rock
Then each one
Can become a part
Of the whole river

Today's Song is By Bill Joel "The River of Dreams"


Today's quote is from Anne Lamont--" So a moral position is not a message. A moral position is a passionate caring inside you. We are all in danger now and have a new everything to face, and there is no point in gathering an audience and demanding attention unless you have something to say that is important and constructive." So you decide If my work is worthy of demanding your attention. Or it is relevant to any aspect of your life, and therefore of value of spending the currency of your time on reading this shit.

Fruit

Look at the strange fruit
That hangs from the tree
Will it propel you forward
Even though you don't
Want to partake of it
Of the colors that it is not
Or the shape
That it doesn't happen to be
Out of the round
Like you are accustomed to
Yet, the tree bursts forth
With pretty flowers
You have to admit
Silently to yourself
Even though they are not
Some of your favorites
The tree is stunted
When you walk up to it
To get a better look at the fruit
But you admire the tree
For even though it is short
It is reaching for the sky
Just like me
You inspect the leaves
It is not the shade of green
That you like to wear
In the outfits that purchase
From the stores
You think to yourself
This tree will never
Bear good fruit
But when you pick the fruit
With your hand
You admit to yourself
That it is out of round
Like you have been told
Nor is it the soft yellow-green
Of the golden delicous apples
That are your very favorite
But you take the fruit
That you hold in your hand
You bring it to your mouth
To take a bite
Then you find
A firm, sweet fruit
That is bright green
With an odd shape
It is not what you desired
But it does contain
The noursishment that you need
When you were especially hungry
Isn't that your life
That you may not
Get the things that you desire
But you will recieve
The fruits that you need
Even though it may not be the color
Nor the shape
Of the apple you wanted
Still the pears of life
Will give you nourishment
To your soul
For it to grow and blossom
Just the way
God intended it to be
Accept your strange fruit
Just for today

Beat

The rhythm of the drum
Calls forth something
In the essence
Of your soul
A ancient melody
Old as the stars
If you will
But listen
For a moment
You can hear the beat
Drawing you in
To the harmony
Of the universe
Connecting you
To everything
That lives and breathes
It is mapped
Into our DNA
For that is God
Good
Orderly
Direction
Everything in order
So you can move
In time
With the rest
Of His creation
Only when we are out of sync
Does a restlessness
Take hold
That we can't understand
Finding the beat again
Is what I need
But so hard
For me to deal with
For in addiction
Lies utter chaos
Totally out of tune
With God
And the Universe
Learning to listen
To hear the faintest
Of echoes
Of the rhythm of life
In that beat
Will you find
The peace
That you crave

 

Today's song is "A Time For Everything"

Naked

Do I dare, in the depths of my soul
Come naked before my God
Laying bare everything
That I think I need
Stripped to the bone
Those selfish desires
Of asking God
Like an impatient preschooler
For the current object
That burns like fire
In my mortal chest
Or do I come
Just as I am
Imperfect as that may be
Use me Lord
Wherever that will be
In my heart
Beats the might fear
Of the vastness of the unknown
The future that lies before
With what I just don't know
All I can see clearly
Are all the mistakes
Of many vary shades
Of evil and blackness
That streches behind
Like piles of rotting garbage
That lie open to the hot, hot
Summer sun at midday
But now I come
To ask of you
The main desire
That I have refused
To utter so far
Use this imperfect vessel
In whatever way you see fit
For the desires of your heart
Just for today

Ready to Go

I have prepared myself
To get ready to move
I have not packed
My physical stuff
As of today
Yet, I am packing
My mental bags
Preparing myself
For the seperation
Knowing what lies ahead
The future lays open
Like a flower to the sun
The past of pain
Like a never ending winter
Is fading into the distance
It's hard to remember
The cold of the winter
When you stand in the sun
Soaking up it's rays
The air perfumed
With the scent of flowers
In almost full bloom
Hearing the birds
Trill their happy songs
It's so hard to dwell
On long johns
And heavy coats
It will not come again
Not in my life
I have been re-born
Into a life of recovery
Most importantly
A life of deep spirituality
Where I can see
The hand of God
Moving through my life
Like ripples on a lake
When a boat glides through
I can choose today
What the shape
Of my life will be
No longer do I have to associate
With people that remind me
Of the constant pain
I have decided
To walk into the Spring
Of my new life
I will put my pain
Of the shelf in the back
Of my very damaged mind
For the more
I poke at the beast
The angrier it becomes
So, I will walk away
Letting it be
For it no longer bothers me
I choose to close that door
Opening a portal
To a new dimension
Of a happiness
That few decide
For their lives to be